My Petridish

Imagination is the fire of life…

Conversation

I don’t want meaningless conversation please

The conversation has reached a whole new level, for example:

“HIiiii, Hows you?”

“Bored man.”

“Whats up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“So, umm anything new?”

“Not much. Just bored.”

“Ummm… Okay.”

“So hows life?”

“Don’t know…”

grrr!! It’s so easy to find new friends and it’s difficult to communicate. Conversations are a dead phenomenon >.<. In last one year, I have not made one friend of my age that I can say I know this person at all. Most conversations are filled with me energetically asking stuff and people answering them in a bored tone and it annoys me so much that I just feel like never talking again. If you have met someone who you got to know better and have come close to then I am so happy for you.

I feel guilty as charged…but not sorry. I want to hear what makes you light up inside. What your dreams are. What is special to you. Everything you love. Talk to me for hours and I will listen. I’ll listen to you in a way you’ve never been listened to before. I want to know everything about you that you are willing to tell me. Tell me what matters. I find that the best kind of conversations are when you can be heard without any judgment and can actually have fun laughing out about your problems or solving them and just getting lost even if only a few lines are exchanged, you know that someone heard you.

Hilary Duff

To have a good conversation two things are needed. 1. A set of ears that can actually listen. 2. A person who really wants to share.
If you are talking when the one you are talking to is playing a game on mobile. Doesn’t that annoy you?

I really love it when someone can open up and just be plain themselves. I find even silent people, (you know the ones who rarely talk much) they have a lot to talk about if you give the chance. Who wouldn’t like it when someone leaves a little message or a call for a minute, instead of liking my Facebook picture and commenting oh that shirt looks great on you. Same goes for a blog, don’t you like it when someone cares enough to read what you wrote and leave a comment. I have a high respect for people who can actually converse instead of just chat.

I have my birthday hidden from every social platform not because I do not like people wishing me my birthday, but I like it when people who have met me in real and know has celebrated my birthday by accident or in college and school, I like it when those people can actually call or drop a message. How many people do we wish Happy birthdays on Facebook and actually feel it, actually think about that person for a minute and wish them?

Since I decided to stop showing my birthday on Social networks I found that 99.99% people do not remember it. I am guessing none of them have their calendar’s marked with their friend’s birthdays. Yes, call me old-fashioned I am a 22nd-century person and I still use a calendar for birthday reminder… It’s a little bit fun, scribbles on a paper. I hardly talk to many people now, I don’t have so much time and I like to spend it with people who genuinely cares about my tiny existence. In other words, I try to ignore and I am still learning the art of ignorance. Ignorance might be a bliss but like fire alarms cautions has to be used with ignorance too. 

Ignorance is a bliss

A conversation between two people need not be something dragged and unwanted. Feeling a bit insecure about opening up to someone is fine but because of that screwing up every chance to make a good friend is a plain idiocy.

Would you like you if you met you and talked to someone talked to you the way you talk to people? Would that even help you make any friend at all? We all get backstabbed by some friends, we all get f****d up in meaningless relationships. We try to save some friendships but we still lose people. Some are not worth it and those who are will stay or remember you wherever they are and still curse you for stealing those chocolates that their valentine gifted them but you see that is the beauty of life, you are able to converse. Even deaf people have language, I wonder why that is if everyone is going to be afraid and sealed away in your own make of cold dark room, shooing away anyone and everyone who comes their way.

Communication. Will it kill us? Don’t think so. Look at Velociraptors, a highly intelligent & communicative species… 😛

It is difficult to converse and open up once you have been hurt but it’s doable. You can do it. Give it a try. For eons humans have conveyed what goes on in their minds and hearts by gestures, words, paintings and if you want to differ do something instead of letting it all just well up inside you so later only you can dive in and make it difficult for others to help. Communicate, your mom dad said hi to you even before you were a little embryo, they embraced you and brought you till here, man up and get off your sad ass. Here’s a caveman’s painting on his little cave wall to inspire you. Think of why he/she made it when it was so difficult and they had next to none of those communication devices.

Battlestar galactica cave painting

If you see caveman paintings that don’t make any sense, that might have been me. I can’t draw a potato even if I tried.

So from now on how about actually be part of a conversation? Even a silent one, just talking through the eyes. 😉 Isn’t it much fun to be part of something?


You can read my thoughts on Boredom here.

 

Previous

Life Breaks Us All… So Said Hemingway

Next

The great man said, “I would dream much BIGGER.”

99 Comments

  1. Yesterday I lost my ability to put a post on my site. I also was unable to check my email or interact with any bloggers. Now this morning, I was to able make a post and check email. Out of a long list of emails, your comment appeared right at the place where I usually begin working. I come here to your blog, and like what I read. And I’m completely at peace to leave that long list of emails right where they are, and never touch them, if that’s what God wants. Life is a real trip! Now I feel like following your blog. We’ll see what happens, if God gives us eyes to see it. LOL

  2. you just nailed it perfectly….the disinterested disillusioned conversations that we are part of today ….you just made me remember how I love sleeper class journeys in trains just for the fun of talks…the kinda family feeling between people around your seat….its all changing now but then its not lost totally and I still enjoy it even if the travel is sometimes hot and tiresome!

    Guess everyone is busy and in a hurry…. and about birthdays … its so true and I just loved your calendar with birthdays marked! Hugs! 🙂

    • That’s exactly the reason I love going by trains to places instead of car. It’s fun to strike up a conversation with strangers or playing games with your friends as you travel back and fro. I remember my college vacation journeys were more fun with friends, we plays sing a song, cards, guess the word etc. Bless you! reminding me such beautiful times after a hard day at work! Appreciate it. 🙂

      Thanks for the wonderful comment, again! Loved your comments. Hope to see you more. 🙂 Take care. Good night dear.

  3. This echoes my thoughts about opening up and gaining friends. I do have a few friends because I am a straight forward type of person and not a people pleaser. Sometimes I can’t help but think, am I not that interesting? then I would tell myself that it’s much better to have someone who takes me just as I am so that I don’t need to pretend. Wonderful post!

  4. You’ve really struck a nerve here… I also hate it when people start giving vague answers and when they get busy on phones and laptops while having a convo.
    Well, I guess such people don’t deserve your time or your energy. Best learn to ignore them and move on, at least, that’s what I do and always prefer. I understand that sometimes people get moody, but that’s sometimes, not at all times… if you get my drift.
    Great article! 🙂
    BTW, Happy Shivratri in advance 🙂

    • I get it…
      When you get older and actually get to know the world, slowly but surely you start valuing your own time and if you see that “friends or close people” not paying attention then you start noticing and making amends for that…
      Thanks Heena 🙂
      Happy Shivaratri to you too 🙂

      • Well said, Hemangini.. 🙂
        Sometimes we don’t understand the people around us completely, we just get to know a little of them and start to love the “idea” of them, not them in the real sense. And when they are being themselves, you notice that the idea you had about them, was wrong, one starts to hate the other person, instead of understanding that it was their own fault that they loved the wrong idea (not the person.)
        Wow, that’s complex. I literally used 3 voices in there… bad writing, but it’s just the FD of what came to my mind, so pardon my writing. 🙂

        • I totally agree with what you said. The three different voices don’t matter much since this is only a comment & I am not a English Nazi! lol
          The ideas in our head about the other person are harmful, better just focus on who they really are and accept. 🙂
          Once again, good night dear. Bless you. 🙂

          • Phew… Thank god for that. The GNs are everywhere on the blogosphere and they love torturing writers…
            Agreed on your point 🙂
            Darn it… it’s afternoon again… well, Good afternoon 😉
            Have a great day!

          • I am sort of a GN but I do not apply it here since we are all learning and it’s more fun to learn and play then to criticize…

            lol it’s night again! 😛 Good night dear one.

  5. You have made a valid point here. When my husband and I go out to dinner, we look around the restaurant and marvel at the number of families, where, not just the children, but the parents too are all texting, playing games, or checking email. What happened to the good old art of dinner table conversation. When our sons were growing up, that was where we shared the important stuff in each’s life – what happened at school or work, who they had lunch with, what the coach had to say, etc. People don’t seem to get it. If you don’t engage your children in meaningful conversation, they will grow up without learning communication skills.

    • Exactly… Now it is like everyone is master at talking online but in person people become silent and inexpressive now that there are no smileys or typed words to show what they need to say… I have seen that happen even between friends and families. Dining table is maybe the best place where conversations & new relationships happen….

  6. Now it is still more interesting to know that you shall reply with a Poem.
    It shall be most interesting if I am involved in the Poem.
    That shall be inspiring and engaging to me to be in the Poem.
    I feel you have not read the reply I have given to your comment in my last Poem.
    Oh! OMG! This is now turning to be a Poem.
    What can I do Baba! You remembered me about the Poem.
    Anyway waiting to receive your Poem.
    I shall thank-you for the Poem.
    Hemangini!!!
    Hugs!
    Shiva

    • Aww aren’t you too sweet….
      Haven’t seen your reply? What to do, I haven’t been online.. 🙁
      I miss you guys & I miss my petridish….
      I guess I must head over to your blog and see your reply…
      See you there Shiva 🙂
      Hugz.

  7. Hemangini!
    I came running here to this post as soon as I read the title.
    I loved to read it.
    Felt it was meaningful.
    I am for all; what you have said.
    Interesting conversations are those who listen to each other.
    Some sayings go like this:
    Its interesting when some people come
    and
    Its interesting when some people go away.
    I definitely feel you are interesting.
    Let the best meaningful conversations happen among both of us.
    Love to You,
    Hugs!
    Shiva

    • Interesting conversations are those who listen to each other…
      Exactly Shiva:)
      Interesting people do give interesting comments.
      Your comments are always fun to read.
      Inspiring as well as engaging…
      I hope one day I can reply with a poem to you.
      Hugz..
      Hema

  8. Wow, I totally agree with you on this! Sadly, I think the accessibility and proliferation of technology and social media has actually made people less sociable. I can’t stand it when people are out eating with friends and on their phones, texting or playing games. I find it very rude and inconsiderate, as if they don’t care to be part of the conversation or aren’t interested. I know people sometimes use phones and technologies as props if they’re anxious, shy or nervous but it can still send across a bad message/perception of them.
    If only people were more spontaneous and more fun in their interactions, then we’d all be a little happier and more open I think. Just today, another person talked to me in a Starbucks cafe and it made me feel really great.

    • Thanks for stopping by. You mentioned the encounter in Starbucks here means you are still very happy about it. I am so glad something like that happened. You are so right about technology and social media, it’s now easier to hide behind your cell/laptop or any other gadget and be someone more interesting and fun instead of the real you. It’s difficult to let our real self be out there just like that today more than ever.

  9. A wise man once said:be in the company of old people and young kids. How wise ir that?

  10. Even I want and wish to be part of something.

  11. I concur with many things here. For starters, I turned off my birthday notifications and as you said 99% people didn’t know or care. I remember the birthdays of the ones I love.
    I hate conversations like the ones you started the post with. I do have a couple of friends with whom I can talk without any of those weird moments. But the rest fall in this category and as you said, it is sad.

    I don’t think shooing away people due to past experiences is the reason for many. It is, for a few. But for the rest, they feel its awkward. i don’t know why. Open, deep conversations are alien to many and when we try making one, they look at us as though we are crazy.

    • your comment made my day! You understood exactly what I was trying to convey..As for the last line of your comment, yes that is what happens, people think you are crazy because you are open to conversations and some nuisance people think you are open to talk about private topics as well. Which sucks and I hate it so much.. Petty people and bad mentality.

  12. I can’t stand people who don’t know how to keep my attention. I’m completely turned off by people who don’t know how to have deep and thought provoking conversations.

    • the more I age the more I find myself not wanting to talk to few people at all after a first few conversations where they added nothing… You said so right, it is difficult to be attentive towards people who don’t even try. :/

  13. I totally agree with your views…deep level conversations are becoming rare these days…maybe it has something to do with the superficial and shallow lives most people have adopted now days. And yes! the best conversations are when you are able to communicate through your eyes..

  14. I love this post!

    “If you are talking when the one you are talking to is playing a game on mobile, doesn’t that annoy you?” – YES IT DOES! I get so annoyed when I am talking to a friend and all they are seemingly interested in is their cell phone. So many people appear to have theirs permanently attached to their hands and ears… Maddening! Plus, I never really know how to react when this happens. Do I get upset? Do I grab out my phone as well and text them instead of talking to them directly as a way to make them understand what they’re doing is rude? Do I get up and leave? I never know.

    But it’s good to know there’s others out there with the same perspective as me 🙂

    • hahaha maybe we should try what you said, “take out our cells and message them a hello I am right here!” lol
      I like real conversations so much, it is like heaven in today’s fast world… I look for them.

      • You know what I always wonder about? When I see a couple in a restaurant, apparently on a romantic date, yet both of them are texting. I always ask myself who they’re texting, and imagine they text each other.
        I am going to try texting my friend next time she’s more interested in her online life than in a real conversation 🙂

        • I am going to do the same too… & only this sunday I was dining in a restaurant with my family and a family came and took the table next to us, their son was playing games on cell, the husband was texting someone and the poor wife was sitting all alone- looking bored and sad… My sister and I just felt sorry for her.

          • I would too, probably. I think if I move out and have people over for dinner, I’ll have them hand over their cells for the evening. Like you, I value real life conversations so much more.

          • good idea, an evening without cellphones.. Maybe for few minutes everyone will wonder what to do now, how to talk… haha 🙂 *thumbs up* do that! I am so happy to have come across your blog and meeting you. 🙂 You are wonderful girl.

          • Thanks! The feeling is mutual, I suspect we have similar view of life. Nice to know there’s likeminded people out there!

          • yes good feeling. 🙂

  15. That’s a good post ! 🙂

  16. When my now husband – then my boyfriend- started dating, and he would ask “how are you”? I often replied “do you have the time to hear everything or just want the short version”? It helped us in our relationship. There are days when we do not want to share, there are days when “they” do not want to listen. A well balanced meal, has everything on its plate 😀

  17. Great post, Hemangini! I can tell this is something you are passionate about. I am an introvert, but I converse quite well when needed. This is something my husband and I have talked about before. So many people are willing to talk to you when you are making the effort to ask them questions and they can talk about themselves, but when it comes to them participating in the conversation by asking about you, they don’t. My family laughs because I will end up in conversations with complete strangers who will tell me their life stories. I guess I’m a good listener.
    So glad to have met you!

    • wow you are an introvert, that is awesome… I think introverts are better at writing then someone like me, I am an introvert but I have some qualities of an extrovert, don’t know if there is a word for that!
      Being a good listener is a gift you know?? I am not saying this because I am one too but because it is so important to have someone who listens. 🙂 I am so happy to meet someone who listens… Nice to know something wonderful about you, awesome Jude 🙂

  18. Sensible post, i agree with above comments…. Classical- peace of writing.. Good work Hemangini!!

  19. Wow Hemangini.. Such a great and insightful post.. Very true, even I have been such situations where people don’t give responsive replies which make us feel annoyed.. And Birthdays, recently my friend named Ajay, removed his birth day date from fb, and no one except me and one more friend wished him. Then he told me that last year on the same day, 80+ people posted on his timeline wishing him happy birthday.. Shocking isn’t it? And calendars? Wow.. Having conversations makes us more interactive and also we get to know different kinds of people. Loved that caveman painting.. And the first quote on dreams bringing people together is awesome.. Happy Sunday.. 🙂

    • I am glad you liked the pictures I shared. Wow that must have been a shock to your friend Ajay? Seriously it’s weird how dependent we have become on some technologies..It’s like, “sorry no one reminded me of your birthday!” LOL.

      Yes you are right, having conversations makes us more interactive and sometimes being quite is necessary but when someone is trying to talk and you do not, it is just rude except if you do not want to talk to them at all. I am glad you liked my post. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by, see you

      • It’s my pleasure Hemangini… And yes, Ajay was shocked… Everyone remembered the virtual existence of him not his real existence.. Its not about just birthdays.. Nowadays people have become so addicted to whatsapp, that they think people live only online… It’s horrible..

        And yes, conversation are always a great source to become interactive and make friends… Yes, but she someone ignores us, we hate to start a conversation with them.. Have a great day.. See you,. 🙂

  20. … Wanting? Sorry. That reply flew away before I was finished.

  21. I think blogging is a great place for conversation. You just need to find people with similar interests to you. I have found many fellow bloggers who’ve become friends.

    Do you think people stick with the platitudes because they’re afraid to reveal themselves and be found

    • Yes that is the beauty of blogging. your thoughts resonate with someone out there and you talk more with them to get to know them and develop friendship maybe, but sometimes it’s like one way talk, you keep asking questions and they keep answering and then it goes blank and everyone is line, “nothin..” lOL I don’t like such conversations, to keep friendships alive I have tried many times with many of my friends to keep it up thinking maybe they are shy they ll open up, but some people are just not interested or can’t care much… DOn’t know which one is it. ummm Wanting is fine right? I mean who wouldn’t want to become friends with someone genuine?

      • Deep conversation can be too confronting for some people. Time demands might also figure in why people don’t engage as you would want them to. I feel confident you will find the friend you are looking for. Each of my close friends only became close over a period of time to allow trust and understanding to develop.

        • Yes it takes time to develop friendships and to be frank I am not looking for new friends at all. I am happy with the few I have, even if we do not get much time we get together and have fun whenever possible.. Thanks for your kind comment 🙂 Hope you have wonderful people in your life.

          Have a good night 🙂

  22. This morning I responded to a similar blog post in which I shared that I began blogging mainly to promote my art. In the final analysis of it all, while blogging helps just a little in that regard, it ultimately comes down to face-to-face, good old fashioned networking.

    That said, when it comes to personal relationships the same applies. Absolutely NOTHING compares to the depth of one-on-one communication that I can have with my wife.

    NOTHING!

    Excellent post.

    • it’s like you are saying, “There is no substitute for someone who gets us…” and I can not agree more… Blogging is a sort of networking and putting your interests out there.. But blogging is better then facebook I guess… LOL

      Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂

  23. Like you, I have removed my birthday from social media and I find it quite touching when people remember my birthday without the Facebook prompt.

    This is a truly thought-provoking post. You’ve raised a lot of good points about people being bored, and hiding behind cell phones. You’ve given me lots to think about – thank you.

    • ya it’s touching when someone remembers our birthdays without having to see facebook.. I am glad you liked the post, it makes me happy. Happy thinking and have a wonderful day Ruth (that’s your name I hope I didn’t pick a wrong name from the comments?) 🙂

  24. I agree with you on many points. It is difficult to a have a meaningful conversation with people, especially if they are glued to their phone. I have found though that people will genuinely put the effort into a conversation when they get to know you a little. Some people are shy at first, and a cell phone is something to hide behind. As for my good friends, I don’t have a problem finding meaningful conversation with them. Cell phones are put away and taken out only every once and awhile and conversation flows. Honestly, cell phones are apart of our daily lives, like it or not. And parents need to be able to hear from babysitters or partner’s from their husband/wife/boyfriend so I get the occasional look. Great post.

    • I am not talking about family times… Mainly I use cell or my brother or father also use cell a few times while we gather and talk but I am talking here about our friends… Whom we meet once a week or once a month or so and suddenly they take out their cell and start chatting on whatsapp or snapchat, as if meeting after long isn’t important at all… And so many times people are like, “okay… kk… mmm.. ummm… yea.. np… nm..” when you are trying to make a conversation and other person responds like that it does make you feel like they are not interested…

      Good friends, family and close ones don’t even need to wait to have a conversation with us, that is much fun and we connect instantly.. cell phones, laptops etc are a part of our life but they are meant to connect us not separate us from the person right in front of us…

      Thank you so much for reading 🙂 See you

      • Yes, I can agree with that. Although, I do think it is just how it is, that as much as we want the, to bring us together, they make us apart. Not all the time but a times, like you say with friends. Happy Weekend.

  25. 🙂 THANK YOU
    (*)°_██_*。*./ .˛* .˛.*.★* *★ 。*
    ˛. (´• ̮•)*˛°*/.♫.♫*˛.* ˛_Π_____. * ˛*
    .°( . • . ) ˛°./• ‘♫ ‘ •.˛*./______/~\ *. ˛*.。
    *(…’•’.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.|田田 |門|╬╬╬╬ .
    ¯˜”*°•♥•°*”˜¯`´¯˜”*°•♥•°*”˜¯` ´¯˜”*°´¯˜”*°•♥•°
    http://www.dailymotion.com/metekan

  26. Oh wow. What a meaningful post, Hemangini. Yes. Maybe because of technology, most of us have opted for short conversations. Even here in WordPress you most get short comments, then you say thank you then you’re welcome. That was it.

    I have nothing against that but you made a good point, that we can actually converse about something deeper. It doesn’t have to be personal, it just have to have meaning. 🙂

    Thank you for this, Hemangini! I am adoring how deep you think. 🙂

  27. I am glad. 🙂 Thanks 🙂

Would you like to say something?

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: