Stigma of all kind are around us and sometime we ourselves fuel some of it. If you are a human being, you must have come across this questions “Are you working or you are just sitting at home?” I have attended a lot of functions in my life despite my dislike for them and countless times I have been asked this questions: 1. Are you working? 2. So you are doing anything after studies? Many of my married girl friends face this question: 1.Oh! You are a housewife! 2. Oh! you are a working woman?
To men it’s a bit different: 1. You are not working, you are a BPL. [For those that don’t know, BPL is an old abbreviation for people who are living their life on their old man’s money.] 2. You are working, you don’t know anything about family life!
Why is that so? I am a working woman and most of the time I come across people who tell me, “Oh, you are so lucky you do not have to do any chores at your home.” Like hey how did you know I live like a princess who have tons of men servants to take care of her? Yes, I am given a glass of milk and dish of cookies as I wake up! I wonder why the hell am I bothering to do a job at all! Go figure! Our social thinking is like that. Most of us grow up saying/hearing things about others, watching other’s plates, we lose the sight of our own plates when we are taught to look at others all our lives. House wives talk about how working women don’t know how to take care of their households, working women talk about house wives not knowing how to do their financial stuff and what not? Men who go to work are treated as if they have done some proud to their family names, ‘cuz they are working and earning money! Those men who are trying to do something innovative are scolded every now and then that they are wasting money and should get a job.
If you look at the homes around you or in your own, you might see the difference in treatment of those that do a job and those who stay at home. A great amount of time is wasted in telling people what they are not good at or what they can’t do. I have seen many men scolding their wives, “you shut up! you don’t know anything! You have no idea how the outer world works, you have only done house work all your life.” The same men tell their wives, “If you get a job, who is going to do the house work? Stop trying to show off your degree and go make me a coffee.” Shame to say but this is happening in today’s generation too. Sometimes the women tell their husband to shut up since he doesn’t know how to take care of the household like she does. Can we just put our feet in their shoe for a minute and treat them better like we would like to be treated? How about developing some patience and not just run with our fast 4G world in our relations as well?
I have grown up watching my mother do all the house chores and take care of us, feed us good food etc & my father who used to sit by my side and study for his exams while he would be rocking my cradle for hours till I sleep. My both parents have full-time jobs and they got the help from my grandparents and aunt when we were growing up. Sometimes my uncle would make nasty comments about them, once I slapped him hard, I was just a kid but I knew my parents would feel bad if they heard such comments, why couldn’t the grown ups understand that? Now I am a grown up and I understand why couldn’t my grandparents and aunt couldn’t shut my uncle like I did, because it’s a social stigma! Because that’s how we teach our kids to look at the world. We decide what’s important and whats not, we ourselves are our worst enemies. We make our families feel bad by saying such stuff. Although I am happy to report my uncle has never said any bad comments about anyone after that, ever again!
I could write a self-help, help yourself guide on this topic someday, if someone hasn’t already!! :p
Our compassion for comparison is so strong that we forget how different our lives are, that all of us are just humans and we all need compassion for each other, to be there for each other, it can be a little bit intimidating to change our thinking but just imagine what we can accomplish if we did try to make our world a better place. If we do not try, who will? Women empowerment is on a high these days so let’s see how many women can actually get to do what they want to do and how many women will encourage their friends, daughters, daughter-in-laws, mothers, mother-in-laws, the little girls that are brought from villages to be a housemaid etc. Let’s see where we reach with our high thoughts about empowerment. I wish you all luck as I try to encourage other’s out there to be just what they can be, except if someone tries to be Loki or Iron man in which case I will just have to crush their hopes and tell them you can’t have an evil-shaft and rule people/get the throne by making a fool out of your brother or are you a rich billionaire to be one?
Just kidding! Let’s get over all these stigma and do our best to empower anyone who needs to be empowered and do some real good, be it a man or a woman…